Sunday, February 15, 2015

Why Muslims should ONLY marry Muslims

This has been bothering me for some time now. Maybe I'm overreacting. In this day and age, when Muslims, both men and women, are marrying outside their religion, and the kids that they have grow up non-muslim, it is painful for another to see this. Below is what I have thought of. For some, it might not make sense, others might call me a blasphemer (you'd be surprised what muslims say to one another these days), but I firmly believe in what I have researched about interfaith marriages. My conclusion: Muslims can ONLY marry Muslims. Period.

Hey, did you know both Christianity and Judaism see Islam as a false religion? Did you know Christians and Jews they see our Prophet Muhammed as a false prophet? Does it really make sense to marry such people? What does the New Testament say about marrying non-Christians?
1 Corinthians 7:39- A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 

And then there's 2 Corinthians 6:14 which says "Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?"

But the Bible also says Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,(1 Peter 3:1).

So two verses say not to marry non-Christians, another says to marry non-Christians just so they can be converted. Would Allah allow Muslims to marry people of other religion's just so we can loose our faith and convert to a different religion? I don't think so.

Also, Jewish law (Halakkah) forbids Jews to marry non-Jews. See the following:

Lets move on to the Quran. Here is verse 4:25 from Sahih International. All translations say the exact same but this one is worded better:
"And whoever among you cannot [find] the means to marry free, believing women, then [he may marry] from those whom your right hands possess of believing slave girls. And Allah is most knowing about your faith. You [believers] are of one another."

Allah knows about our faith. He then says in verse 5:3 (Sahih)

"This day I have perfected for you your religion and completed My favor upon you and have approved for you Islam as religion."

Question: Why is Allah SWT telling us to marry Muslims? If not free, then believing slaves? Note: This verse applies to women as well. He also says that he knows about our faith. He says islam is our religion. He also says that the believers are one of another.

Verse 9:71 from Sahih International, Muhsin Khan, Pickthall, Yusuf Ali, and Shakir:

"The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise."

"The believers, men and women, are Auliya' (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another, they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma'ruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat) and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. "

"And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger. As for these, Allah will have mercy on them. Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise."
"The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practise regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise."

"And (as for) the believing men and the believing women, they are guardians of each other; they enjoin good and forbid evil and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, and obey Allah and His Messenger; (as for) these, Allah will show mercy to them; surely Allah is Mighty, Wise."

And who exactly are these people? The Quran answers again:

Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)." (Quran 16:97)

"Lo! men who surrender unto Allah, and women who surrender, and men who believe and women who believe, and men who obey and women who obey, and men who speak the truth and women who speak the truth, and men who persevere (in righteousness) and women who persevere, and men who are humble and women who are humble, and men who give alms and women who give alms, and men who fast and women who fast, and men who guard their modesty and women who guard (their modesty), and men who remember Allah much and women who remember - Allah hath prepared for them forgiveness and a vast reward." (Quran 33:35)
So, as we can see, the believing men and women are allies, protectors and guardians of each other. When Allah SWT stated Islam is the religion, then what makes up those who follow islam? It's the above verse. Clearly, connections can be seen from all of these verses. Which means Muslims CAN ONLY marry other Muslims!

But what about verse 5:5?

"This day [all] good foods have been made lawful, and the food of those who were given the Scripture is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them. And [lawful in marriage are] chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking [secret] lovers. And whoever denies the faith - his work has become worthless, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers."

Like other verses in the Quran (polygamy, traditional interpretations of verse 4:34, inheritance (see here:, slavery, not taking Christians and jews as friends), verse 5:5 is NO LONGER APPLICABLE today. Because modern day Christianity and Judaism, even the most orthodox and conservative branches, are offshoots of the reformations that have occurred within those religions. Both of those religions are made up of radically different views than the time of the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh). The views that they have today are not consistent with the views of early Islam. In addition to, many Christians and Jews are not practicing. Or they think they're practicing but will run around in bikinis, gamble, fornicate etc. We see this with our own eyes-from schools to Hollywood, modern day Christians and Jews are not the same as before. As a matter of fact, there's reports that show the majority of Christians and Jews in America are clueless about their scriptures. There's been so many liberal and secular influences on both religions that even the Pastors and Rabbi's don't know much about the bible or Torah. They just serve as symbolic features of the religions (marriage, divorce, funerals). The ones that seem conservative and orthodox are still following watered down versions of Christianity and Judaism. In addition to, many Churches have statues of Jesus, and Christians sing and pray towards them. This is now idol worship. You may find very conservative Jews and Christians, but they still follow the reformed versions of their religions.

Also, its no secret that many muslim men use this verse to justify lusting after women whom they think are Christian or Jewish (tight/revealing clothes, sexual gestures etc). You really think Allah SWT sent this verse for muslim men to behave like this? Its sickening and saddening that men use this verse to raise their gaze, make sexual comments, maybe even harass or assault, all because they think they're allowed to do so. How retarded are these fools? And its also no secret that some Muslim women use the verse also. Because there's several views that say the same condition of marrying Christians and Jews also applies to Muslim women. Whether that view is right or wrong, some Muslim girls are also think that they're "Islamically" allowed to check out non-muslim boys and date them and marry them. THOUGH, its much more severe and common for Muslim men to do all of this rather than Muslim women. On top of this, it's so annoying to see Imaams who blindly initiate marriages to "Christian" and "Jewish" women. These Imaams are misguided and blinded with ignorance.

ALSO, Muslims at the time fought certain Christians and Jews. Many of the Christian and Jewish men died in wars. Their women were in similar situations of other women at the time- they could not support themselves or their kids. Marrying them increased the territory and power of the ummah, and increased converts. And yeah, we all share most of the Prophets and have similar views about religious obligations and stuff. This isn't possible to do with other religions EXCEPT Christianity and Judaism, as they're also Abrahamic faiths.

(I just want to quickly point something out- If you go and listen to some of the interpretations why of this verse allows Muslim men to marry Christians and Jews, well they're just incredibly stupid. The most common reasoning among these people is that a Muslim man respects all the Prophets of the other religions. And this is the reason they give. How stupid does this sound? I mean, won't a Muslim wife of a Christian or Jewish husband also believe in the same Prophets as him? See how it makes no sense? And then there's also the view that a Christian or Jewish husband might not treat his Muslim wife properly. How stupid does this sound? So just because they're of different faiths they wont be kind and fair to their wives? These two insanely screwed up views are unfortunately common when trying to understand verse 5:5. Also, their views FURTHER make no sense, as the most horrible places on earth for women just happen to be Muslim countries. The rates of domestic and sexual violence against females is shocking. Whereas the rates for domestic and sexual violence is MUCH LOWER in western countries. See how again, those views make no sense? And we wonder why so many Muslim women are hesitant to marry Muslim men from Muslim countries).

BUT LIKE I SAID, such times no longer occur. Especially with many of us living in the West, marrying outside our religion is a stab in the back for the muslim community.

If we think about a interfaith marriages, we need to think about the children and how they'll grow up. I know the common saying from non-muslim spouses: I don't care if the kids are brought up Muslim, I just love my (Muslim) husband/wife. Children are very vulnerable and it is at this time that Islamic education is the KEY, otherwise if they're older and you try to teach them Islam, they won't really care. When a child see's his/her non-Muslim parent NOT praying, NOT reading the Quran, and NOT fasting, then the child will weigh this with what his/her muslim parent does. Obviously, the non-Muslim parent's life seems a lot easier and better. I mean they don't have to turn off the TV when they're favorite show or movie is on. They get to relax while the child and the Muslim parent has to pray five times a day, read the Quran, and so on. The non-Muslim parent's life seems so much better. This will have SEVERE implications for the child.

Now compare that with this: BOTH parents are Muslim, BOTH read the Quran, BOTH pray 5 times a day, BOTH practice the dietary and hygienic practices of Islam, BOTH follow the sunnah, COMBINED with PROPERLY raising their children islamically (not being too strict or too liberal or too extreme. All three of these can have negative effects on the child. In addition to, showing kindness and love towards the children), then the child will follow the footsteps of the parents. And then when the child is grown up and married, then they can pass on their knowledge to their own kids.

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